i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
