sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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