Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
