You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
