we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
