i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
