Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize