Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my shit smells like andre
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
