420 ftw
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
worst night to have a conscience
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
