whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
