He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
