"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
