hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
