how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
