his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
