Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
