Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize