I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
