My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
