That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
