dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
