Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
