dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
