Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
