dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
