My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
