pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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