we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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