would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We are two peas in an std pod
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
