Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
