so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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