Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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