There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
