If i come over, it means nothing
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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