Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
