GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
