If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
they need to just BURY HIM!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
