The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
