billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
