No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
