I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
