how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
