Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
