I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
