JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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