I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
