just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
