I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize