so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
