she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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