I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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