If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
