Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
