It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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