the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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