I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
