I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
