She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
